McDonald’s Sundae: Redux

Well would you look at that, it’s been another year of not posting.

It’s not that I stopped eating sundaes—I have about 10 in my camera roll that I need to put out the the masses. But don’t expect an apology or an over-produced announcement video this time. I feel no remorse for my absence—semi-professional food reviewers deserve a break, too!

Plus, I’ve had a myriad of other things that have monopolized my time and attention. But instead of leaving you with that vague catch-all sentence, I’m going to use my next few posts to explain what I’ve been up to over the last year. So expect the coming reviews to be 80% diary entry and 20% actual analysis.

So let’s start with the most important reason for my hiatus: Lauren Hopkin.

Lauren and I started dating last year. We actually went on our first date in November of ’23—around when I revived the blog—but she swiftly friend-zoned me. I spent the next couple of months posting these reviews, perhaps in a conceited attempt to garner her attention and endear her with my weekly witticisms; while the modern man posts to his Instagram Story to generate intrigue in a potential mate, I critique hot fudge sundaes.

She never read the blog.

But she did enjoy my company while we were in the “zone.” So much so that she began to reconsider a guy like me. So she asked me out. To where? You guessed it, McDonald’s.

The sundae was exactly how I remembered it—creamy, warm, and perfectly complemented by the salty crisp of the fries. While McDonald’s prices are truly inexcusable these days, I do still find myself coming back for some nugs and a sundae bi-annually.

Quality of Fudge

Sensational.

Quality of Toppings

N/A (RIP peanuts).

Level of Comfort Ordering the Sundae

Second date, kinda nervous.

Would I Rather Get a McDonald’s Sundae?

Error.

Final Rating: 10/10

We had a lovely chat over some sundaes and fries before I walked her to the Green Line at Clark and Lake where we awkwardly waved goodbye. We kept getting to know each other better, eventually calling ourselves “official” and spending virtually every waking moment together. We eat together, take the train after work together, go on walks that somehow always turn into 90-minute urban hikes together, and just have the absolute best time together.

Fast forward to the time of the picture above, September 17th, 2024. She took me to get sundaes again because she wanted me to write a blog post about her (she’s a little vain—one of her most endearing qualities). The blog was not revived then, but it certainly gave me ammo to write about it now.

Now seems like the right time to make that post, because we got engaged last month.

I haven’t posted to the socials because I thought it’d be funnier to post about it here first. Plus, what better way to reward your patronage?

You, the masses, my avid readers, are the first to know. Well, except for all of the friends and family we’ve already told over the last month. So if this is how you’re finding out, you’re a better friend than I give you credit for. Or it’s just because I’ve been lazy about telling people. Or someone just told you about this blog and you’re here for the content and none of this mushy stuff.

Either way, thank you for being here.

I couldn’t imagine a type of person I’d be more excited to share a life (and sundaes) with.