No diary entry today. Just trying not to develop a parasocial relationship with the masses, y’know?
Trying to get back to routine in the Year of Our Lord 2026. And what better way to do that than attempt to extract memories and meanings from photos of ice cream in my camera roll?
Today’s review comes from August 16, 2025. Lauren and I joined a couple of our friends for a road trip out to the boonies of Illinois—specifically Rockford and Oregon, IL.
Ironically, I had just been to Oregon, IL, by myself a few months prior to buy an old CRT TV. It’s proudly sat on my desk as a third monitor, never to be used for anything useful other than making YouTube videos feel more nostalgic.
This trip started by going to the Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, which evidently was named the finest Japanese garden in North America by the Journal of Japanese Gardening in 2004. In researching for this review, I discovered they were inspired by the Portland Japanese Gardens (*Portlandian superiority complex intensifies*).
It was quite pretty, but more importantly, it was scorching hot and humid as we walked under direct sunlight at high noon. Perfect to work up our appetite for some ice creamy grub.
Our friend drove us to Jay’s Drive-In, a quaint little diner that is only open for the summer months.
We walked in to be greeted by a delightful crew of summer employees. They were BEYOND STOKED to serve us city slickers. They said they come into the city all the time to work for some sports teams outside the summer season. And then they got cagey when we asked them who they work for. “Oh, you wouldn’t be very happy if you knew.”
Brother couldn’t have been talking to a man less interested in sports allegiances. Besides, what sports team, with an office in Chicago, would I turn my nose up at? You telling me the Milwaukee Brewers have a Chicago satellite office?
Let’s not think too hard about their not summer job, for their summer job is why we are here:
They keep it simple—hot fudge sundae. No specialty. Just craft.
Quality of Fudge
Good, thick fudge that coated the spoon and created an impenetrable barrier between the whipped cream and ice cream. If rural Illinois can do it, so can literally anywhere else.
Quality of Toppings
Look at those FULL PEANUTS. These legumes have never seen the business side of a knife. Great, fully-body crunch.
Level of Comfort Ordering the Sundae
Usually, when you reveal yourself as a Chicagoan to someone in Boonies, IL, you do not get a warm reception. It’s more often a “that’s too bad” or “what are you doing here” or “why?” So imagine our surprise when they even smiled in our direction?! We’re building societal bridges out here.
Would I Rather Get a McDonald’s Sundae?
Considering this thing cost, like, $4 or $5, I’m morally obligated to go with Jay’s. Way more bang for buck. If memory serves, I didn’t even finish this thing. Plus, our servers were just so cordial and chummy. McDonald’s embodiment of late-stage capitalism could never.
Final Rating: 9.2/10
Hot for Fudge 